Friday, January 14, 2011

is it wrong, to have a terrible thing dimmed
by ten second absolute terror
of how much more 
it could have meant to me?

feeling like a terrible person, because in my heart i know how i would have felt with the difference of a few letters. how the fear of something can shell-shock you into not realizing how sad something else really is.

until it hits you in the face. how insensitive you are
to anything but yourself. 
and how admitting that
where people will read it
is hypocritically purgatory.  
sympathy, empathy, 
everything, can be deconstructed into hypocrisy. 
and its better not
to say anything, just feel 
something inside. 


  1. Sigh.
    I know the background to this post... and why it would lead you to this... existential epiphany. You're right though. And sympathy, more so than empathy, is a lot of lip service.

  2. Oh, and people, "humans", are inherently and viscerally selfish. Proof here is that the primary emotion in my mind right now is gladness because I can finally state this without seeming bitter and cynical.